Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105
Proverbs 17
Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, a man of understanding is even-tempered. NIV.
I suspect I am not dissimilar to many when I recall the far too many times I have spoken first and then thought about what I said afterwards. And that thought, “I should NOT have said that!” Some of my greatest regrets result from those times when I have done so. Unable to retract the words, I am left with the daunting task of having to rectify my words. This, at times, requires years to rebuilt trust and restore the relationship. Tragically some relationships are never restored.
What complicated my poor use of words is the tone in which I expressed them. Invariable my most hurtful and destructive words flowed from an unbridled anger and the tenor of my speech may have reflected the truth, but harshly without even a drizzling of love. How could the results of such an interchange be anything other than destructive?
Solomon in this proverb highlights an alternate pattern of speech, one dominated by the maturity of wisdom. It includes using words with restraint. What a wonderful concept. I don’t need to use extravagant terminology or emphasis to make a point. In fact, if I hear another assert that something is “the God’s-honest truth.” I suspect the speaker may not truly know what they are speaking about. Simplicity of speech is more effective in part because the speaker is emphasizing the point made over the manner in which it is presented. Restraint extends also to the intensity with which I speak. How much more effective to be even-tempered as I speak. Yet, we all know how challenging this can be when we are irritated and angry. Restraint and even-tempered speech is inversely proportionate to how hot under the collar I become.
From Proverbs we learn that it is better to say nothing at all (the New Testament asserts it is better to be wronged than to violate God’s grace in our lives) rather than to speak and wreak havoc on all around us.
May the words of my mouth reflect the love and grace of my Savior who willingly took my burden and provided me life abundant and eternal. Amen.
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