Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105
Psalm 84
Psalm 84:2 My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God. NIV.
I don’t know how you responded to this verse which expresses the longing of Asaph. Me? I find a strong appeal in this holy longing after God and the place of worship. There have been several times when I felt a similar longing and passion after God. I remember the prayer meetings during my college days. We sang and prayed. We expressed our longing for God to transform us into people who worshiped Him and served Him with our whole hearts.
Yet, over the years this holy longing slowly shifted to something quite different. I found that shifting the emphasis of my relationship with God from my heart to my head produced a less volatile life. I found a sense of stability in study and mastering subjects. Learning about God seemed safer, less threatening, and minimized the intrusion of God’s Spirit into my fears and insecurities. Sadly, I exchanged a dynamic stream to a mud-encrusted stagnant pond.
Perhaps age and experience have brought a new appreciation for a balance between head and heart. As I review God’s dealing with me over the years. He guided me through my studies, brought me a spouse with whom we raised three children, provided my needs with a variety of vocations, protected me from the full consequences of my compulsive behaviors, and brought me into a community of like-minded people intent on living our God’s will in our daily lives.
Out of a heart of deep gratitude I comprehend that God’s design for me is to submit even my longings and emotions to Him to shape in a pattern of holy longing. I have come to understand that this type of longing is not primarily an emotional experience. It is a deep desire to know and do the will of my heavenly Father. Joy, gratitude, and contentment are profound emotional responses to the Father of Lights who delivered me from sin and brought me into a life of loving service. Holy longing is not so much an emotional mountaintop as it is an alignment of my will, desires, and goals with those of God who designed me to live and serve as His representative in this world.
Father, be pleased to implant Your holy longings in my life that I be fully conformed to the image of Your Son, my savior. Amen.
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